New blog address!
Thank you for following ‘Let’s Talk!‘. Due to a new website, this blog has now moved and we would love for you to move with us, to keep up to date with our latest posts. Please follow us at:
http://www.the-terrace.co.uk/blog/
We have lots of new interesting and informative posts planned for the future!
Here at The Terrace we adopt a charity each year and over the 12 months our therapists work to raise as much money as possible, usually at special events that offer those who come along and hand over their hard earned cash the opportunity to try a therapy they might never have considered before.
This year we are fundraising for a charity that is held in great affection across Somerset. St Margaret’s Hospice is a charity that cares for people with any life-limiting illness. More than 1000 people volunteer to support the wonderful medical staff who last year cared for around 3,200 people, most often in their own homes. They offer everything from in-patient care to complementary therapies and day care and support not only the patient but their family too.
So, we are keen to help. To that end we are having an ‘Open Day’ on 6th May 2016, at which seven of our therapists will be giving their time for free so that those that book sessions know that ALL of the £30 they give will go to St Margaret’s. There will be three psychotherapists – Jane Gotto, Helena Trump and Su Stokes – who work with individuals, couples and families; Sandra Abrahams who offers reflexology and hopi ear candling; Nicki Withers, a cranio-sacral therapist; Sarah Sellick who offers massage therapy and Kate Weeks, a specialist in the Bowen technique.
Getting involved is simple. Click on the image or HERE to see what is available, call us on 01823 338968 or email post@the-terrace.co.uk to check availability and to book and after paying in advance (we have to ensure we do everything to avoid ‘no shows’ on the day, to raise as much money as possible) simply turn up and know you have done something really worthwhile – supporting your own well-being and that of others.
So thank you in advance! Over the course of 2016 we will undertake to raise as much as we can for what is a terrific local charity.
Well we are a week into 2016, so we thought we would repost a great piece by our own mindfulness expert, Miranda Bevis. How many of us are still keeping to those new year’s resolutions? Should we even be trying – adding additional pressures to our already stressful days?
In days gone by, as the old year departed, I would enthusiastically construct a huge list of New Year’s Resolutions. This was it! I was at last going to get in control! Become thin and fit and popular, well read, up to date with current affairs and so, so organized. And for the first few days, I’d get up early, go for a run, read improving books and eat improving food. Hoover under the sofa, tidy my sock drawer and open brown envelopes immediately.
If I’d managed to carry all these good intentions through, by now I would be lean and fit, living a life that worked like clockwork, fluent in a number of foreign languages, with an In tray that was always empty, and an Out smugly full. But happier? I’m not so sure.
Anyway, not surprisingly, I rarely got beyond week one with any of them; certainly they never made it to February. Very quickly, exhaustion, apathy and chocolate would take over, and I would be back where I started.
Why do we do this? I suspect it’s got something to do with wanting getting to grips with life, and to feel more in control. Perhaps coming from a feeling of not really being in control.
And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve aspects of our lives, perhaps we need to hold on to these goals lightly, and understand that even if we achieved them, it wouldn’t necessarily make us happy or help us to navigate the pitfalls of life.
The truth is that we just aren’t fully in control of our lives. Difficult things are always going to happen. Mindfulness offers the possibility of being “in control of not being in control”. It helps us embrace both the pleasant and the unpleasant, the joys and the tragedies of life with equanimity. It’s not about trying to change things, but simply learning to be OK with being exactly where we are.
So these days, there’s only one item on the list, and that is to do as much Mindfulness as I possibly can. Over and over to come back to the present, to the simple breath, to an awareness of what I’m doing , while I’m doing it.
And strangely, the more I practice, I find that some of the things on the original list begin to come more naturally. By developing a kindly awareness towards myself, it becomes much easier to give myself what I truly need.
Still not great with brown envelopes though.
Miranda is offering mindfulness taster sessions at The Terrace, Taunton in January 2016:
Taster Sessions:
Tuesday January 12th 6.30- 8.00pm
Wednesday January 13th 9.30- 11.00am
Cost £5
Eight week Mindfulness Courses
Starting Tuesday January 26th 6.30- 8.45pm
Starting Wednesday January 27th 9.15- 11.30am
Optional half day for both courses: Sunday 6th March See the Events page of The Terrace website for full details.
We are always keen to promote mindfulness here on this blog, especially mindfulness outside in nature. You don’t need to live in the middle of the countryside, simply taking a walk in the park can still the mind and offer relief from the stresses of the day.
If you need scientific evidence to convince you of the value of nature to our emotional well-being, then the BBC reported last week on work done by a team at Stanford University which found that being close to the natural world can help us avoid the feeling when negative thoughts seem to be ‘stuck on repeat’.
Experiments compared the brain’s responses to walking beside a busy road with those experienced when amongst oaks, birds and squirrels, and showed decreased activity in an area of the brain linked to risk of mental illness when walking away from the stresses of urban life. Gregory Batman, a researcher on the study, said:
“There’s an increasing body of evidence showing that natural versus urban areas benefit us at least emotionally with our mood and possibly also our cognitive development too,”
Bearing in mind that more than 50% of the world’s population live in towns and cities, this is a really important finding. Batman again:
“Here’s your prescription, walk in the forest five times a week for an hour.”
Furthermore, at the Hampton Court Flower Show last week the Royal Horticultural Society was encouraging us to bring nature into our gardens by reducing the amount of hard landscaping, such as concrete paving.
The ‘Greening Grey Britain’ campaign showcased ways to make urban environments rich in both vegetation and nature.
Nigel Dunnett is Professor of Planting Design at the University of Sheffield, was behind the garden.
“We evolved with nature and it’s completely unnatural for us to be separated from it”.
We are to benefit from his work here in the south-west, as plants from the garden are coming to Bristol to green-up areas which include St Mungo’s hostel for the homeless.
This is really nothing terrible new, as the value of ‘ecotherapy’ and the connection between humans and the land has been understood by practitioners for years. But is always good to have the issue highlighted once more.
So do you think ‘green prescriptions’ are a valuable complement to the range of treatments available for emotional distress? Would it be more effective that medication in your view?
We would love to know what you think…
On this blog we have often highlighted the importance of mindfulness as a means to really engage with the world around us and to live in the moment – this moment. Mindfulness is becoming ever more ‘mainstream’ and it now regularly appears in the media, becoming something of a new ‘buzzword’ to support our mental health (as other terms, such as CBT have in the past). Here at The Terrace we have always recognised that there is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to our emotional wellbeing. Mindfulness is a practice that many find beneficial, but that doesn’t mean it is a panacea for all the ills in society. It requires practice and discipline, and for many of us with busy lives it can seem difficult to take the necessary time and space to really benefit.
But sometimes we can simply be in the moment, for – literally- a few moments. Hearing a familiar piece of music, the smell of new cut grass, or bread in the oven, looking at a fabulous view; all these offer us the time to catch our breath and become as one with ourselves and the world.
John O’Donohue
Previously we have offered poetry by Wendell Berry, Pablo Neruda, William Stafford, John Keats and Mary Oliver as a way to reflect for a moment on what makes us happy and what is really important in the lives we lead. Today, we highlight the work of Irish poet John O’Donohue. Also a philosopher, priest, environmental activist and proponent of Celtic spirituality, he died, at just 52, in 2008. Some words of his particularly struck us:
May I have the courage today
To live the life that I would love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no more.
This is surely a thought that should be with us at the start of every day?
The following poem by O’Donohue is indeed a blessing and at times of stress and anxiety offers an opportunity to meditate and calm the mind. We would love to know what you think, and how the words affect you….
Beannacht
(Gaelic for “Blessing”)
by John O’Donohue
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
And when the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
Miranda Bevis is offering more mindfulness courses at The Terrace in the autumn. See our website for more details.
Many of you will have read our mindfulness posts in the past, perhaps learning some tips to try, or some poetry to focus on as you work to stay in the present moment. It isn’t always easy to make the necessary space and time in our busy lives, but the medical profession has at last recognised that for many, the ever-increasing pace of 21st century life is impossible to maintain.
Our own Miranda Bevis, an expert mindfulness practitioner, runs regular workshops and courses to support anyone wanting to learn mindfulness techniques. She has also written widely on the subject, and she has shared the following piece with us. I found it deeply moving, remembering watching my own children experience the joy of something simple for the first time, and wanting to enjoy that feeling over and over again. As adults, Miranda points out, we rarely do this and. perhaps, need to get in touch with our inner child just a little more often……
When my kids were little, they were drawn, like magnets, to puddles. Many a walk ground to a halt as a puddle had to be inspected. Stood in. Jumped up and down in. Delighted in. But not just one puddle. Every single one they came across. Oblivious of cold and wind, for them, each puddle was a fresh and new excitement, and needed to be explored and reveled in.
At first I could delight in their happiness, their squeals of joy. But inevitably, my mind would stray and become bored. How many times do we have to do this? We’ve got to get on, let’s find some thing new. I’m afraid there were times when I gritted my teeth in frustration,
Small children are very good at being present. They can easily find magic in the mundane, and become completely absorbed in each moment. As we grow up, we tend to lose this. It’s easy to become bored and cynical. “Seen one, seen them all”. We want to move on and find new distractions. So, as I sit now, looking at my rain washed spring garden, at first sight, I am aware it’s beautiful. Of course it doesn’t change, after one minute, five minutes, ten minutes. But what can change is the way I perceive it. I might only appreciate the beauty for an instant, before I get used to it, and become distracted. Instead of staying with the experience of my senses, thoughts to crowd in. Of things that need doing, of plans for the garden. And masses of non-garden related thoughts. The garden, and it’s beauty “disappear” from my awareness.
What we aim to do in mindfulness, is to cultivate something called a “beginner’s mind”. That means learning to see things as if this was the first time we’d ever noticed them. You can practice it on anything; perhaps try with a flower. As best you can, let go of thoughts about the flower, and keep on coming back, over and over, to the experience of your eyes. Let go of any thoughts about being bored and wanting to move on to something else. Rather, keep on “refreshing the screen”… this flower, and this flower, and this flower, so that, in each instant there is a new and wonderful flower in front of you. Or go and splash in puddles if you must!
Dr Miranda Bevis’s original training was in medicine, and she worked as a GP in Somerset, with a special interest in psychological problems. She gained a diploma in Psychodynamic Counselling, and now works as a senior counsellor and EMDR practitioner at the Somerset Counselling Centre in Taunton. She is also a British Wheel of Yoga teacher.
Jane Gotto
2014 was an exciting year for The Terrace in Taunton, marking as it did the twentieth anniversary of its establishment and its development into a leading psychotherapy and complementary health centre in Somerset. There was much to celebrate, and even more to look forward to – no one is slowing down now.
To mark the anniversary Jane Gotto, Director of The Terrace, was interviewed by Suzie Grogan at some length about the history and development of the business; the ethos behind it and the therapies available, as well as plans for the future – including her commitment to taking The Terrace into social media and the blogosphere!
As part of the on-line plan, The Terrace has opened a YouTube channel and the first videos uploaded are, of course, the interviews with Jane. In this first one, for example, she discusses how The Terrace came into being.
And in this one, she discusses future plans….
Do take a look at the channel, and if you have any ideas on other videos we can produce, or clips already on YouTube that we can link to we would love to hear from you.
So not only does The Terrace have a Facebook page at www.facebook.com/TheTerraceTaunton, you can also follow us on twitter @terraceclinic and on Pinterest www.pinterest.com/terraceclinic.
It isn’t all about promoting the business, although that is important of course. We find interesting articles on issues relating to psychotherapy, counselling and complementary health, alongside those campaigns we support – most particularly the prevention of sexual abuse and female genital mutilation. And of course, on this blog we write in more detail on the same subjects and offer mindfulness practice and explanations of therapies you may not have considered before.
So after this shameless self-promotion we would love you to engage with us, comment on posts, converse on twitter and follow us on Facebook. We never spam and are always happy to answer questions. And of course, there are lots of lovely pictures and inspiration on Pinterest.
Lots of Christmas shopping was done over the weekend. We woke up in the knowledge that money needed to be spent, car park spaces must be battled for and crowds coped with. It was daunting, but ’tis the season…’ and all that – jolliness is required of us. Here at The Terrace we do like to offer support to readers over the festive season, but in the rush of consumer madness that is challenging.
So it was good to come across a piece by our own Miranda Bevis, mindfulness practitioner and leader of many of our workshops and courses. She recognises that the real world makes living in the moment (the basis of mindfulness practice) tough, but maintains that with work we can achieve a peace and level of contentment in many of those situations that threaten to overwhelm us. Here she offers some wise words on becoming content. How much of the ‘stuff’ we accumulate over the Christmas period do we actually need? We have written on here about looking at our rituals and making a decision to change. No more three for two gift sets, over indulgence and post Christmas strain on relationships – and perhaps creating new ways to celebrate the things that are important to us.
This time of year should be reflective, a time to take stock, but we have to admit that major changes to seasonal celebrations are best planned rather earlier than mid-December when many of our presents are bought and paid for and meals planned etc. So, take a look at what Miranda writes below, and have a think about how we can appreciate the things we have already. Then perhaps we can take steps this year to enhance our Christmases to come.
Scanning the weekend newspaper supplements, I find so many articles and advertisements telling us how we could (should?) change: How to get fitter, thinner, look younger; give your garden a makeover, re-design your interiors. Revitalize your love life, spice up your cookery and your sex life (because you’re worth it). There is no end of things that we could change for “the better”. And of course, change is supposed to be good for us; after all, we wouldn’t want to be bored or get stale, or allow ourselves to get into a rut, would we? We “deserve” more, we “have a right” to more. We should seek out new excitements, discover new thrills, acquire new things, visit new places, meet new people.
And there’s nothing wrong with any of this, except, perhaps, the overall message. Which seems to be that, if things were different, in terms of our looks, our possessions, or our experiences, we’d be happier. That there’s a better place to be, a better way to be, than where we are right now. And that surely breeds dissatisfaction. It’s all too easy to get caught up in disgruntled thoughts, and end up not noticing what we’ve actually got.
When we practice Mindfulness, we explore being with whatever is, without immediately trying to change anything. Sitting with our sensory experiences alone, and allowing them to be exactly as they are, while letting go of thoughts and desires for things to be different. We begin to realize that often it’s not so much what is actually happening that is the problem, but rather the thoughts about it. Realizing that the mutterings of “I don’t want it to be like this”, “It’s not fair”, and “I deserve more” breed discontent.
Letting go is not the same as giving in. It’s not a state of hopeless resignation. But it gives us the space to fully appreciate what we already have. It can help us to discover what really does need changing, and teaches us to develop a different relationship with what we have no control over.
The art of contentment and well-being is being good at noticing what you have, and wanting what you’ve already got. In the words of Guillaume Apollinaire: “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy”.
Miranda is offering more taster sessions and courses in the new year. See our ‘What’s On’ page for further details.
We are in December now, and here at The Terrace we are keen to promote ways to ensure our well-being is protected in what is a busy, festive month. We have written many times on mindfulness, and have started a new series of posts on the subject. Our expert practitioner Miranda Bevis offers regular and popular taster sessions and courses here, to those interested in finding out more. Here, Miranda discusses an exercise that some of you may already have heard of, and perhaps even dismissed. After all – how useful can eating one raisin be? Read on and find out. Perhaps, as you eat your rich Christmas cake or pudding this year you can give it a try…..
“The first exercise we do in the Mindfulness course is to eat a raisin. It seems a bit crazy. Never mind. Just do it. Notice. What does it look like? How does it smell? What happens when you put it in your mouth? As best you can, try not put the experience into words, but just allow yourself the bare experience.
If the mind wanders, which it probably will, gently guide it back to the exploration of this small object. Let go of any thoughts or judgments.
The whole thing takes about 5 minutes. People are always surprised and I regularly hear comments such as “I didn’t know I could get so absorbed in such a small and insignificant thing”, “I can’t believe how intense it tasted”, “I didn’t think I even liked raisins, but that was really enjoyable”; and there’ is always someone who says, “It’s really strange, but I feel so much more relaxed”.
This exercise is far from crazy, and should not be dismissed. It demonstrates a number of things, including how, a lot of the time, we don’t really notice what we are doing, but are functioning automatically. Now, that’s not always a bad thing to do. For example when we react to real danger, or the mechanics of driving. In this complicated world, there are many times when we have to multi-task.
But if we function without awareness, we miss out on much of our experience. How many meals do we not even taste because we are in such a hurry?
And sometimes it’s downright unhelpful, and can actually make things worse. Reaching for the biscuits or the bottle when we get stressed, or kicking the cat because we are feeling irritable – perhaps if we were more aware of our actions, we might act in ways that were kinder to ourselves, and to others.
Finally, the person who noticed she became more relaxed whilst eating the raisin had touched on something of great importance. I never used the “relax” word, never say ‘chill out’. I just said, really, really notice what you are doing. So what we discover is that, just by becoming fully absorbed in a very mundane activity, the body relaxes.
Why not give it a try? For a few mouthfuls every day, switch off the radio, don’t read or talk. And just eat. And notice…”
Miranda Bevis is offering mindfulness taster sessions and a new 8-week course in January 2015. See our ‘What’s On’ page for more details.
Miranda Bevis
Miranda Bevis, our expert Mindfulness practitioner has prepared some articles on how we can all take advantage of the benefits the practice of Mindfulness offers. As she will make clear in teh coming weeks, it does take practice, it is no quick fix. But that is what it is all about – taking that time to add it, gradually, into our lives….
Mindfulness is very much in the news these days, as means of finding a bit of tranquillity in our increasingly stressful world. We are all subjected to pressures from many different sources, including work, relationships, family, money worries and information overload. Often the strain may prove too much, and problems arise. A high proportion of illnesses are now thought to be stress related, and there are no ‘quick fix’ medical answers.
Many people struggle with anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Social isolation, lack of confidence and low self esteem are common and they may leave us feeling exhausted, trying to find solutions in our lives, and feeling powerless to change things. A lot of time is spent wishing we were somewhere, or someone, else. Energy may be invested in ruminating over unwanted thoughts.
The idea behind mindfulness is very simple. It is just to be fully in the present, moment by moment. We learn to focus on what is happening right now, and cultivate a kind and non- judgmental attitude to ourselves. This is not an intellectual exercise, but requires a fair amount of practice. Over time, we develop a different relationship with what distresses us. What exactly are we focussing on? It is often the breath, an anchor for our attention. It may be our body sensations, or what we can hear or see. We learn to be aware of what we are doing, while we are doing it. We observe thoughts and emotions, and learn to let them pass by, instead of getting hooked into them. Gradually, we realize there are different and more constructive ways of responding to difficulties, instead of reacting in old, often unhelpful, automatic patterns.
The approach was developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn in the late 1970’s. It draws from ancient eastern philosophies, but is delivered in an entirely secular way. Research, over three decades, supports Mindfulness, and it 
has been shown to increase feelings of well being, and decrease the impact of living in a stressful world. It is now taught widely in many different settings including schools, the mental health services, hospitals and hospices, prisons and government agencies
Over the next few weeks I am going to explore what we mean by Mindfulness, and how we can use it to navigate whatever stresses may come our way, not be blown away. I will also include some wonderful poetry, which can help focus our minds and support our practice.
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work,
and when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.”
Wendell Berry
Miranda has some new Mindfulness workshops and courses starting in the New Year. Follow us on Facebook to find out more or see www.the-terrace.co.uk
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