Infant Mental Health Week – let’s start as we mean to go on….

UK days IMHAW16 EnglandThis week marks the first UK Infant Mental Health Week, with the aim ‘to open up the conversation about the importance of the first 1001 days: conception to age 2 period’.

Many therapists are now looking at the importance of a child’s mental health from as early as conception, and certainly there is already evidence about the impact of a traumatic birth on the long-term mental health of a child. Resilience, intelligence, confidence – all those things we would wish for all children can be influenced in those very first days.

So this is an important first step in recognising, nationally, the importance of pre and post-natal care of mother and baby. The Infant Mental Health Awareness week is supported by a number of important organisations, each of whom can offer support and more information about the needs of babies and toddlers in those earliest days. These include (with their websites):

The Association for Infant Mental Health UK (AIMH UK)

The Institute of Health Visiting (IHV)

Parent Infant Partnership UK (PIP)

The Royal College of Midwives (RCM)

Zero to Three

1001 Critical Days

Public Health England and the union Unite are also involved in this new partnership, which we hope will continue to highlight these issues and ensure there is a seamless chain of support for children and parents from the very earliest moments of life.

We have therapists here at The Terrace who are skilled at working with mothers and babies to support those first critical weeks and months. Do contact us on 01823 338968 for more details, or see our website, www.the-terrace.co.uk.

5 fabulous exam tips for the final push…

Nearly there – the exam period is in full swing and all that revision should be paying off. Well, we hope so. It is a tough time for anyone finishing a school or college year; whilst others can relax and enjoy the early summer sun, there is last minute revision to be done and the inevitable nerves to deal with.

So, we thought we would share the exam tips we have been posting over the past few weeks on an ‘omnibus’ blog post, offering you the opportunity to remind yourself of all those things that are important over the coming weeks as the exams end and the results come in…

Exams1

Find a revision buddy

Exam stress is tough- Try not to compare

Eatingwellexams

This final tip is very important. It is easy to forget, when under such tremendous pressure, that the results of the exams you are sweating over will not define the rest of your life. It might be difficult, but try a little mindfulness meditation and remember, whatever happens there is still a way forward.

Exam tip 5

And after those exams are over, read our post on dealing with those post-exam feelings that can be surprisingly difficult to cope with.

Good luck – we have everything crossed for you!

 

A Mindful New Year…..

new yearWell we are a week into 2016, so we thought we would repost a great piece by our own mindfulness expert, Miranda Bevis. How many of us are still keeping to those new year’s resolutions? Should we even be trying – adding additional pressures to our already stressful days? 

In days gone by, as the old year departed, I would enthusiastically construct a huge list of New Year’s Resolutions. This was it! I was at last going to get in control! Become thin and fit and popular, well read, up to date with current affairs and so, so organized. And for the first few days, I’d get up early, go for a run, read improving books and eat improving food. Hoover under the sofa, tidy my sock drawer and open brown envelopes immediately.

If I’d managed to carry all these good intentions through, by now I would be lean and fit, living a life that worked like clockwork, fluent in a number of foreign languages, with an In tray that was always empty, and an Out smugly full. But happier? I’m not so sure.

Anyway, not surprisingly, I rarely got beyond week one with any of them; certainly they never made it to February. Very quickly, exhaustion, apathy and chocolate would take over, and I would be back where I started.

Why do we do this? I suspect it’s got something to do with wanting getting to grips with life, and to feel more in control. Perhaps coming from a feeling of not really being in control.

And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve aspects of our lives, perhaps we need to hold on to these goals lightly, and understand that even if we achieved them, it wouldn’t necessarily make us happy or help us to navigate the pitfalls of life.

The truth is that we just aren’t fully in control of our lives. Difficult things are always going to happen. Mindfulness offers the possibility of being “in control of not being in control”. It helps us embrace both the pleasant and the unpleasant, the joys and the tragedies of life with equanimity. It’s not about trying to change things, but simply learning to be OK with being exactly where we are.

So these days, there’s only one item on the list, and that is to do as much Mindfulness as I possibly can. Over and over to come back to the present, to the simple breath, to an awareness of what I’m doing , while I’m doing it.

And strangely, the more I practice, I find that some of the things on the original list begin to come more naturally. By developing a kindly awareness towards myself, it becomes much easier to give myself what I truly need.

Still not great with brown envelopes though.

Miranda Bevis Mindfulness GroupsMiranda is offering mindfulness taster sessions at The Terrace, Taunton in January 2016:


Taster Sessions:
Tuesday January 12th 6.30- 8.00pm
Wednesday January 13th 9.30- 11.00am
Cost £5

Eight week Mindfulness Courses
Starting Tuesday January 26th 6.30- 8.45pm
Starting Wednesday January 27th 9.15- 11.30am

Optional half day for both courses: Sunday 6th March See the Events page of The Terrace website for full details.

 

Bullying – Top tips for parents and carers

Lola's-story281x210November 16th marked the beginning of ‘Anti-bullying week’ and we thought it would be a good idea to highlight some of the information and support offered online. After all, bullying doesn’t just take place in the playground, or at work. Cyber-bullying has opened up a myriad new ways to exert power over the vulnerable, particularly over social media.

Firstly – what exactly constitutes bullying? The Anti-Bullying Alliance, which promotes #antibullyingweek, defines it as:

‘the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power.’

It is worth stating here that some of those accused of bullying claim they didn’t know that is what they were doing, or that, particularly in the working environment, that the behaviour is simply a management technique. However, anything that involves arguments and rudeness, excluding or ignoring a colleague, or not crediting their contribution or overloading them with work can be bullying, as can spreading malicious gossip. The charity Mind has some great advice about workplace bullying, and offers links to organisations that can offer employment support.

For children and their parents, the NSPCC website offers a wonderful resource that covers not just the tips to help you if you or your child is being bullied, but help if you find your child is actually the bully. It also offers information for teachers and schools, to ensure their anti-bullying policy is up to date and fit for purpose.

cyberbullying234x346Cyber-bullying is the latest, and often most frightening, form of bullying. It can often be done anonymously, and recourse to help seems hard to find. However, the charity Childline has a page full of advice. They define cyber-bullying as:

‘Cyber bullying (also called ‘online bullying’) is when a person or a group of people uses the internet, email, online games or any other kind of digital technology to threaten, tease, upset or humiliate someone else’

This can clearly apply to both children and adults (most of us are now aware of ‘trolling’ on social media,  when Facebook pages or twitter feeds are bombarded with threats and insults), but it is a particular concern to parents, as they see their children living their lives through their smartphones, tablets or laptops and feel excluded from potentially difficult situations online that, ten years ago, would have been out in the open, and perhaps more identifiable and manageable.

Childline offers immediate support and their website gives you all the links. Don’t forget, this issue includes ‘sexting’, a subject we have written about before, when children can find themselves the subject of explicit images that are shared widely without their permission.

Bullying has been going on for millenia, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all take action by being clear on what the term means and taking action where necessary. Bullies themselves need support, as they are statistically likely to have been victims of bullying themselves in the past and it is vital that cycle is stopped.

So take a look at these sites and make sure you are clued up. #antibullyingweek shouldn’t end on Friday 20th……

Poetry IS mindfulness – so soothe the mind & feed the soul…

images (7)Earlier this week, The Huffington Post published a Daily Meditation – it was entitled Poetry of the Earth and featured a poem by John Keats  – On the grasshopper and cricket. It got us thinking about how closely poetry is connected to mindfulness and meditation practice. For to read a good poem, that speaks to your heart and resonates with your soul is truly to be living in the moment. It is a moment of pure emotion, stillness and intensity.

We have posted articles which include a poem to illustrate a point, or to encourage mindfulness, on this blog a number of times. We hope that at least one of them has struck a chord with you, especially as we have tried to choose works that distill what it is to be still in just a few lines. We recommend that you read the poem through a couple of times, then read it aloud (or mutter it under your breath if you feel more comfortable, or are in a public place) feeling the words in your mouth. How often do we actually concentrate on what we are saying? The way the syllables feel on our tongue, in our throat, on our lips? To read a poem is to be mindful, don’t you think?

So today we have chosen another favourite by the poet Wendell Berry, who has featured on ‘Let’s talk!’ before. In What We Need is Here, Berry expresses what many of us sense in the fast paced world most of us live in. We aren’t asking for more, or new or exciting. We are asking for quiet and to find a calm place where we can really see what is important……

What We Need Is Here

Wendell Berry

Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.

What do you think? Do you have any favourite poems that you turn to in times of worry, or crisis, in order to reduce your anxiety and focus the mind? Perhaps you write poetry, in which case we would love to hear from you and find out a little about why you feel it is an important way to express yourself. Do get in touch!

Children’s Mental Health Week – why it is so important to listen & learn…

The Duchess of Cambridge launching Children's Mental Health Week 2015

The Duchess of Cambridge launching Children’s Mental Health Week 2015

Here at The Terrace we nominate a charity each year, to which we make donations from funds raised at our events and open days. We also raise awareness – which in many cases is more important than money. For the charity we have supported for the past two years – the NSPCC – that is especially important as only now is society beginning to recognise how mental health issues are affecting children and young people in the UK, and how services should be tailored to their needs, rather than tagged on to adult care.

Late last week the ChildLine Review was published, showing that four out of ten children contacting the Helpline are doing so because of a mental health issue. Two thirds of online counselling sessions offered by the charity relate to self-harm, suicidal feelings, low self-esteem, unhappiness and other mental health concerns. You can read the full report here. It makes for reading that should be of interest to parents and professionals alike.

Yesterday the Duchess of Cambridge released a video to mark the beginning of the very first Children’s Mental Health week. Filmed at the Bethlem and Maudsley Hospital School in Kent, it highlights the issues many children face as they grow up in a society that is ever more pressurised and which can leave them vulnerable to depression, anxiety and self-harm. It calls for the better provision of early intervention to ensure children get the support they need as a matter of urgency, that being the very best way to make sure they move into adulthood with the resilience they need to cope. You can watch it on the BBC News website here.

Children’s Mental Health Week was launched by Place2Be, a wonderful charity that offers emotional support within schools. Their website offers some, frankly frightening. statistics:

  • 3 children in every classroom have a diagnosable mental health problem
  • Half of those with lifetime mental health issues first experience symptoms by the age of 14
  • Depression and anxiety amongst teenagers have increased by 75% in the past 25 years

iStock_000022060638SmallBut it can also say that more than 80% of parents felt their children’s problems were better after receiving counselling, and research suggests that children are less likely to experience mental health problems in adulthood if they get this early support. Here at The Terrace we offer counselling for children and teenagers with three of our most experienced psychotherapists. Find out more here.

We have written about issues facing our children many times on this blog. Sexting, abuse, exam pressures, FGM, the use of police cells to incarcerate young people – it seems there are so many new things for adults to worry about as their youngsters grow up. But we know from the terrible cases relating to historic sexual abuse that dangers have always been there, and can be countered if children are encouraged to speak out about things that concern them and are listened to. Properly listened to and believed.

Children’s Mental Health Week is a great idea. Let’s hope we can continue the conversation, and support, all year round.

On a Mindful Christmas contentment. Why can’t we just ‘be happy’?

trolleyLots of Christmas shopping was done over the weekend. We woke up in the knowledge that money needed to be spent,  car park spaces must be battled  for and crowds coped with. It was daunting, but ’tis the season…’ and all that – jolliness is required of us. Here at The Terrace we do like to offer support to readers over the festive season, but in the rush of consumer madness that is challenging.

So it was good to come across a piece by our own Miranda Bevis, mindfulness practitioner and leader of many of our workshops and courses. She recognises that the real world makes living in the moment (the basis of mindfulness practice) tough, but maintains that with work we can achieve a peace and level of contentment in many of those situations that threaten to overwhelm us. Here she offers some wise words on becoming content. How much of the ‘stuff’ we accumulate over the Christmas period do we actually need? We have written on here about looking at our rituals and making a decision to change. No more three for two gift sets, over indulgence and post Christmas strain on relationships – and perhaps creating new ways to celebrate the things that are important to us.

This time of year should be reflective, a time to take stock, but we have to admit that major changes  to seasonal celebrations are best planned rather earlier than mid-December when many of our presents are bought and paid for and meals planned etc. So, take a look at what Miranda writes below, and have a think about how we can appreciate the things we have already. Then perhaps we can take steps this year to enhance our Christmases to come.

Scanning the weekend newspaper supplements, I find so many articles and advertisements telling us how we could (should?) change: How to get fitter, thinner, look younger; give your garden a makeover, re-design your interiors. Revitalize your love life, spice up your cookery and your sex life (because you’re worth it). There is no end of things that we could change for “the better”. And of course, change is supposed to be good for us; after all, we wouldn’t want to be bored or get stale, or allow ourselves to get into a rut, would we? We “deserve” more, we “have a right” to more. We should seek out new excitements, discover new thrills, acquire new things, visit new places, meet new people.

“Now and then it’s good to pause in ourAnd there’s nothing wrong with any of this, except, perhaps, the overall message. Which seems to be that, if things were different, in terms of our looks, our possessions, or our experiences, we’d be happier. That there’s a better place to be, a better way to be, than where we are right now. And that surely breeds dissatisfaction. It’s all too easy to get caught up in disgruntled thoughts, and end up not noticing what we’ve actually got.

When we practice Mindfulness, we explore being with whatever is, without immediately trying to change anything. Sitting with our sensory experiences alone, and allowing them to be exactly as they are, while letting go of thoughts and desires for things to be different. We begin to realize that often it’s not so much what is actually happening that is the problem, but rather the thoughts about it. Realizing that the mutterings of “I don’t want it to be like this”, “It’s not fair”, and “I deserve more” breed discontent.

Letting go is not the same as giving in. It’s not a state of hopeless resignation. But it gives us the space to fully appreciate what we already have. It can help us to discover what really does need changing, and teaches us to develop a different relationship with what we have no control over.

The art of contentment and well-being is being good at noticing what you have, and wanting what you’ve already got. In the words of Guillaume Apollinaire: “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy”.

Miranda is offering more taster sessions and courses in the new year. See our ‘What’s On’ page for further details.