Bullying – Top tips for parents and carers

Lola's-story281x210November 16th marked the beginning of ‘Anti-bullying week’ and we thought it would be a good idea to highlight some of the information and support offered online. After all, bullying doesn’t just take place in the playground, or at work. Cyber-bullying has opened up a myriad new ways to exert power over the vulnerable, particularly over social media.

Firstly – what exactly constitutes bullying? The Anti-Bullying Alliance, which promotes #antibullyingweek, defines it as:

‘the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power.’

It is worth stating here that some of those accused of bullying claim they didn’t know that is what they were doing, or that, particularly in the working environment, that the behaviour is simply a management technique. However, anything that involves arguments and rudeness, excluding or ignoring a colleague, or not crediting their contribution or overloading them with work can be bullying, as can spreading malicious gossip. The charity Mind has some great advice about workplace bullying, and offers links to organisations that can offer employment support.

For children and their parents, the NSPCC website offers a wonderful resource that covers not just the tips to help you if you or your child is being bullied, but help if you find your child is actually the bully. It also offers information for teachers and schools, to ensure their anti-bullying policy is up to date and fit for purpose.

cyberbullying234x346Cyber-bullying is the latest, and often most frightening, form of bullying. It can often be done anonymously, and recourse to help seems hard to find. However, the charity Childline has a page full of advice. They define cyber-bullying as:

‘Cyber bullying (also called ‘online bullying’) is when a person or a group of people uses the internet, email, online games or any other kind of digital technology to threaten, tease, upset or humiliate someone else’

This can clearly apply to both children and adults (most of us are now aware of ‘trolling’ on social media,  when Facebook pages or twitter feeds are bombarded with threats and insults), but it is a particular concern to parents, as they see their children living their lives through their smartphones, tablets or laptops and feel excluded from potentially difficult situations online that, ten years ago, would have been out in the open, and perhaps more identifiable and manageable.

Childline offers immediate support and their website gives you all the links. Don’t forget, this issue includes ‘sexting’, a subject we have written about before, when children can find themselves the subject of explicit images that are shared widely without their permission.

Bullying has been going on for millenia, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all take action by being clear on what the term means and taking action where necessary. Bullies themselves need support, as they are statistically likely to have been victims of bullying themselves in the past and it is vital that cycle is stopped.

So take a look at these sites and make sure you are clued up. #antibullyingweek shouldn’t end on Friday 20th……

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